OTTAWA — Rest assured Canadians, your government’s got your back should the undead decide to storm the borders and come after your brain.
In response to a bizarre joke question from Winnipeg MP Pat Martin in the House of Commons Wednesday, Foreign Affairs critic John Baird assured the government’s on top of things when it comes to zombies.
Here’s how the exchange went:
Martin: I don’t need to tell you Mr. Speaker that zombies don’t recognize borders and that a zombie invasion in the United States can easily turn into a continent-wide pandemic if it is not contained. So on behalf of concerned Canadians everywhere, I want to ask the Minister for Foreign Affairs, is he working with his American counterparts to develop an international zombie strategy so that a zombie invasion does not turn into a zombie apocalypse?
Baird: Mr. Speaker, I want to assure this member and all Canadians that I am dead-icated to ensuring that this never happens. I want to say categorically to this member and through him to all Canadians that under the leadership of this Prime Minister, Canada will never become a safe haven for zombies ever.
Following much applause and laughter, Baird added in an out-of-order point-of-order that Canadians should “stock up on first aid kits, monster trucks, canned food and water” in preparation for a possible zombie attack. In a partisan jab a the official Opposition ultimately cut short when his microphone was cut off, he further noted that if the “NDP had its way,” such items would cost more due to the NDP’s “carbon tax.”
It appears the shenanigans relate to a Canadian Press story Tuesday that suggests Quebec’s public security department is ready for a zombie attack. Apparently participants at an annual security symposium were planning to discuss what to do in the event of a zombie attack as part of an emergency preparedness exercise. According to the story, the hypothetical scenario has also been used in B.C. and the United States because if emergency services can deal with zombies, a real disaster will be a piece of cake.
tcohen@postmedia.com
Twitter.com/tobicohen
